A good marriage doesn’t just happen. Like anything worth having, it takes hard work and discipline. If you want a strong marriage, you must begin with the foundation.
First, begin building on the only solid rock that cannot be shaken. We can attest, that having God at the core of your marriage, will help you withstand the worst of storms. If you don’t already have a foundation in Christ, you may email us for information on how to begin.
The next set of materials you will want to gather, to build your foundation, are COMMUNICATION and UNDERSTANDING. Whether you are dealing with finances, sex, parenting, goals, in-laws or any other area of marriage; you will need to communicate with and understand one another in order to work as one.
Below, we have listed some of our favorite resources to help you start building. Also we have links to some helpful marriage websites on the right of your screen.
Our desire is to provide you with the tools needed to build a strong marital foundation. Our hope is, that years from now, you not only have a strong, healthy marriage, but have also passed those tools along to other couples along your journey.
FOR THE ENGAGED COUPLE
Meeting the needs of a generation overwhelmed by divorce odds, relationship experts Les & Leslie Parrott share seven key questions to help couples identify and overcome stumbling blocks to a building a healthy, lifelong marriage.
The Men’s and Women’s Work books are a perfect addition to get your new marriage off to a great start.
LEARN NINE VITAL KEYS TO SUCCESS IN YOUR SECOND MARRIAGE Sixty percent of second marriages fail. Yours can be among the ones that succeed. Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show how you can beat the odds with flying colors and make remarriage the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Do you have the skills you need? Now is the time to acquire them–and build a future together that is everything marriage can and ought to be.
GETTING READY FOR THE WEDDING
All You Need to Know Before You Say I Do
How do we know when we’re ready for marriage? What’s the secret to having a great engagement? How can we get married without drowning in debt? Where better to turn for answers than those who have gone before — experts in the area of marriage, relationships, and finance who know from experience what it takes to make the days leading up to the wedding (and the years that follow) a success!
Have you ever thought, “I know my spouse is different than me but what am I supposed to do with the differences?” This is the book that will forever change the way you relate to the one you love. Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti will help you:
- Lower the stress in your home
- Turn frustration with your spouse into fascination
- Create an environment of mutual support and achievement.
- Stop conflict before it starts.
- Lighten the mood in your home.
- Laugh together more often.
- Enjoy sex more often with your spouse.
- Use forgiveness to make your relationship easier.
The Farrels explain why a man is like a waffle (each element of his life is in a separate box) and a woman is like spaghetti (everything in her life touches everything else). A unique and fun look at the different ways men and women regard life a terrific tool for not only marriage, but also for a reader’s relationships at work, at home, at church, and with friends.
In this groundbreaking book, the letters L, O, V, and E represent four personality dimensions that make up your personal “love style.” Once you know your own love style and that of your spouse, you will be able to love him or her in a way that will help you get the love you need in return.
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott will show you how this single insight can draw you closer together. Never before has there been such an easy-to-use and scientifically proven tool for pinpointing each person’s approach to love. You’ll discover how much these dimensions inform your love style:
L – Leader: The Take-Charge Spouse O – Optimist: The Encouraging Spouse V – Validator: The Devoted Spouse E – Evaluator: The Careful Spouse
The online assessment, in combination with this book and his/her workbooks, will show you how you are designed to approach everything from communication and conflict to sex and intimacy. This is not your typical marriage book. It’s a practical tool for learning how to express love to your spouse and feeling truly loved in return.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The Five Love Languages teaches you that the “in-love experience” is temporary and we will only obtain the much better “real love” with our spouse once the “in-love experience” has past, we have accepted our spouse for how God has created and sculpted them, and have decide to do the hard work of expressing our love toward them in their primary love language which is different for everyone.
Favorite Quotes and Insights Adela and I got from the book:
“Real Love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and recognizes the need for personal growth.”
“Unfortunately, the ETERNALITY of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact. …the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. …if people remained obsessed, we would all be in serious trouble. …Because people who are “in love” lose interest in other pursuits. …Some couples believe the end of the in-love experience means they have only two options: resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse, or jump ship and try again. Our generation has opted for the latter, whereas an earlier generation often chose the former. …the divorce rate for second marriages is at least 60%, and rises when children are involved. …recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course. – Gary Chapman “The 5 Love Languages” Chapter 3
Something our marriage counselor pointed out that I found very insightful is that there is such a thing as being too close to your spouse.
“if people remained obsessed, we would all be in serious trouble. …Because people who are “in love” lose interest in other pursuits.”
This is something I never thought of before. It proves to me that God designed us to seek a balance in everything. The extremes are usually bad and the healthy most God Glorify solutions is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. Since we have a sinful nature, humans too often incorrectly seek the extremes as what God wants for us.
Review by John Nielsen
Fresh Brewed Life by Nicole Johnson
I Read this book 10 years ago and it changed my life. Growing up in the church I found myself knowing all the right things to do and say but needing a spirit filled awakening. This book was just what I needed to discover who I was in Christ. No longer did I worry about doing enough. I was free to breath in the fresh aroma of God and all he had for me.
Just recently I rediscovered it while cleaning out a box of books I had in storage. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I need a fresh awakening! I will be going through this book in the next 9 weeks. Join me as we wake up our souls. Lets pop open the seal and breath in God and His goodness.